


Shut Up

by Random_Inked_Thoughts



Series: Evermore AU [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Kissing, M/M, Meet the Family, Remus being Remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24853192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random_Inked_Thoughts/pseuds/Random_Inked_Thoughts
Summary: Logan loved his boyfriend, he really did. But if Remus didn’t shut his mouth in the next ten seconds he was going to lose his sh*t.“-and that’s why I think Mothman would top Cthulhu any day,” Remus finished, nodding wisely.-----Logan can't believe he ever thought it was a good idea to introduce Remus to his family.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Evermore AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797988
Comments: 13
Kudos: 122





	Shut Up

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So this work spawned from a request from the absolutely lovely YourLocalTheaterKid, inquiring about the line in Evermore; "And he found out that sometimes, if he reads the room properly, the best way to get kissed senseless is to open your mouth at the wrong time". (genderlessfish also requested anything Logan and Remus, so I guess this applies to their request as well!)
> 
> Tbh I'd just done this as a throwaway line and a joke since I thought it would be amusing and add a little spice to Remus' final reflection, but next thing you know they requested to know what the heckin heck Remus had done and I'd written 2kt words, so that's a thing. Anywho, this was absolutely wild to write, and I really hope you enjoy!! :D
> 
> Point of no return: you can read this even if you haven't read Evermore, the only thing it really "spoils" is Remus and Logan's relationship. This takes place a little bit after they get together.

Logan loved his boyfriend, he really did. But if Remus didn’t shut his mouth in the next ten seconds he was going to lose his shit. 

“-and that’s why I think Mothman would top Cthulhu any day,” Remus finished, nodding wisely. 

Logan’s older sister sat across from them, holding her fork in one hand and her knife in the other. Logan didn’t believe that she’d moved from the time Remus started speaking to now. Perhaps she’d become a statue. 

_ I’m going to murder him,  _ Logan thought, shimming down a little further into his seat, now highly aware that his heavy embarrassed flush had spread from his cheeks and ears down to his chest.  _ Whose brilliant idea was it to invite him to dinner? Oh right, mine.  _

_ Invite Remus over to officially introduce him as his boyfriend, they said! It’ll be fun, they said!  _

His mother and father sat at the two respective heads of the table, equally stunned into silence. His father’s hands rested on the pastel blue tablecloth, his mother’s were frozen in her hair. They’d at least been around for more of Remus’ shenanigans growing up, but still. This was unfathomably crude, not to mention completely uncalled for. Logan didn’t think he’d ever blushed so hard.

“Thank you for your input, Remus,” Logan’s father said, rather gruffly, breaking the only marginally tense silence. “So as I was saying before, back on the topic of insurance fraud…” 

_ No, I’m going to die before I can murder him. I’m going to die of embarrassment right here and now at this table,  _ Logan reevaluated as his father droned on, now that Remus’ interruption had passed.  _ I’m going to die and it’s all his fault. He doesn’t even know!  _ An irrational spike of anger shot through Logan. That emotion was easily identifiable, at least. 

Remus had a slightly dopey grin on his face, and he picked up another piece of chicken and tore into it, intently listening to Logan’s father like insurance was the most important thing in the entire world to him right there and then. He was still, unfortunately, blissfully unaware of Logan’s suffering.  _ Logically speaking, how much trouble would I be in if I just stabbed him with a fork?  _ Logan thought, feeling close to hyperventilation.  _ Just a little stab, no murder.  _ He’d brought up sex at Logan’s dinner table, god, Logan was going to die. 

His sister had resumed eating, though it was quite clear that this was not the family reunion she had expected. Then again, no college kid expects her younger brother’s boyfriend to spit out something like  _ that _ at the dinner table, especially not in front of any adults.

“Were you raised in a barn?” Logan finally hissed at him, watching Remus take a piece of corn off his plate with his fingers, not even bothering to use a utensil, and pop it in his mouth. 

Remus looked at him innocently, still using his hands to eat his corn, one kernel at a time. “You know where I was raised, Logan,” he responded just as quietly, having the audacity to give him a worried frown. “Are you feeling okay? You look a little red.” 

“That’s it,” Logan announced, standing up with a horrible scraping sound as his chair dragged across the tile floor of their kitchen. “Come with me.” He grabbed Remus’ hand. 

“Logan!” his mother admonished him, turning to look at his sudden outburst with pursed lips. “Don’t interrupt your father!” 

“Where are you going?” his older sister tacked on with a small smirk. She took another bite of her own corn while Logan froze, trying to figure out what exactly he  _ was  _ doing.

“I’m showing Remus where the bathroom is.” Logan said the first thing that came to mind.  _ Shit.  _ His older sister raised a suspicious eyebrow. 

“I think Remus knows where the bathroom is by now,” his mother reminded him, also giving him a small, worried frown before addressing Remus. “Don’t you, honey?” 

“Oh no, I’m  _ quite _ dumb,” Remus said, his grin stretching to fill his entire face as Logan’s grip on his hand got progressively tighter and tighter, the skin on his boyfriend’s knuckles turning white. “Goldfish memory and all that.” 

Logan’s parents seemed to accept that explanation, nodding a little bit, which was a problem and a half, but in the meantime, Logan’s blood was already boiling and he needed to deal with one issue at a time. 

“Actually,” he practically snarled, “those myths have been debunked.” And with that, he dragged Remus out of his kitchen and down their hallway, pushing him into his room and practically slamming the door. 

“Ooh, talk nerdy to me,” Remus smiled up at him, that same goofy, almost patronizing smile he’d been seeing all evening. 

There was too much to unpack right now. Logan was angry. He needed to focus on one thing at a time. Let’s start with that. “What the hell was that?” he hissed out as loudly as he dared, knowing that if he spoke too loudly, his family would surely hear. 

“What was what?” Remus asked coyly, batting his unfairly long eyelashes at Logan. 

“You talked about Mothman fucking Cthulhu  _ at my dinner table!” _ Logan said, wincing as his volume raised significantly. 

“Small talk,” Remus explained to him, like it was obvious, “Or in Cthulhu’s case, small coc-”

Logan grabbed the edges of Remus’ only slightly disheveled sweater, and smashed their lips together. “Shut up,” he growled into his boyfriend’s mouth, his stomach doing little flips as Remus melted into the kiss, his hands coming instinctively to rest on Logan’s waist in that same familiar way they always did when he kissed Logan.

_ No,  _ Logan reminded his heart,  _ you’re angry right now. Be angry.  _ He kissed Remus harder, their teeth clacking together as he kept pushing, knocking Remus back against his wall with a noise he was certain his parents and sister could hear, but at this point he honestly couldn’t care less about.    
  
Remus kissed him back almost as hard, but Logan found himself crowding the smaller boy up against the wall more, taking control of the kiss in a way that was unusual for him but not necessarily unpleasant. Remus certainly didn’t seem to be complaining. Logan realized that from this vantage point, he could run his fingers through Remus’ green dyed locks, trying to push the other boy impossibly closer. 

Logan, as a rule, did not take control very much during kissing. He found it pleasant, sure, but he was more often gifted surprise kisses as Remus walked past him on a busy day, or slow, affectionate kisses during movie nights, or even Remus’ usual sloppy, more rushed kissing when the two of them were alone, like he couldn’t get enough of Logan, his actions bordering on violent, frenching him within an inch of his life. Remus always initiated, and while Logan was happy to reciprocate, it just hadn’t really occurred to him that he could just… do that. 

Finally, he pulled away from his boyfriend, smirking despite himself as Remus let out a little unhappy noise and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Remus looked as flushed as he had at the table now, eyes big and a little glassy and his lips a little redder than usual. 

“Shit,” Remus whispered after what might possibly have been the longest pause of Logan’s entire life. “When did you learn how to do that? You’d better not be kissing other boys behind my back.” 

Logan let out a small chuckle before awkwardly fixing his glasses again, despite having already fiddled with them once. His brain began to catch up with his body and he cast his eyes to the ground, a tad embarrassed, if pleased by Remus’ reaction. “I apologize, that was uncouth, not to mention uncalled for. I was simply angry and unsure of how to express that to you, but that’s no excuse for my actions.” 

“Yeah no you can get angry with me whenever the fuck you want,” Remus said, nodding like a bobble head, his eyes still a little bit glassy. “I mean, consent is sexy, but whatever the hell that was is just as sexy, so-” 

“Still,” Logan said with a frown. “It was not very professional of me, and I apologize for my actions. In the future, if I wish to do such, I will inform you ahead of time so that you may plan appropriately and deny my request if you so wish.” 

There was another of those smirks tugging at the corners of Remus’ impossibly red lips again and Logan had to resist the urge to kiss it off of him. “Oh yeah,” the other boy nodded, stepping closer to him again and looking up into his eyes. “Cause our relationship is so professional, Specs. How about you write me a formal request next time, hmm? Should we both sign a contract, perhaps? Pen me a letter, maybe. ‘Dear Remus, I would like to formally submit a request to snog you silly. Please respond to me within the next three to five business days with your response so that our system may properly process the request. All the best, Logan.’”

Logan squinted at him, feeling some of his flush from earlier return. “You’re mocking me.” It wasn’t a question. 

Remus grinned lazily at him, going up on tiptoes to kiss him chastely on the lips. “You worry too much, babe. I’m sorry for talking about Mothman topping Cthulhu at your dinner table.” 

“It’s okay,” Logan said, even though it really wasn’t socially acceptable and he would definitely be hearing about it from his parents later tonight when Remus left. “I apologize for getting so angry with you so quickly. I should have found a better outlet to express my… feelings on the matter.” 

“I accept your apology, even though those might have been the best hundred and twenty seconds of my life,” Remus responded cheerfully. “Now, should we be getting back to the table now, or…? I mean, this is a pretty long time for me to be in the bathroom.” 

“Oh, shit,” Logan hissed out, eyes flicking to the clock on his wall, blue with little stars on it.  _ I completely forgot about that.  _

Remus giggled and offered Logan his arm. “Shall we, my good sir? I can always just tell them that I have my period or something,” he suggested. 

Logan stared at him. “How would that help?” he dared to ask, already dreading the response. 

Sure enough, Remus launched into his idea, eyes sparkling in that way they always seemed to when he was talking about something especially gross. “Well, I would be gushing blood, right? So when I dropped my pants, it would have just gone everywhere, and I mean  _ everywhere. _ If I’m dealing with bleeding, I wouldn’t want to stain the fluffy mint green carpet in your bathroom, so you’d obviously need to help me out, maybe grab some simple green, maybe get me a pad or something, and we’d have to take the time to scrub the blood out of the carpet,  _ obviously, _ so-” 

Logan stopped him there. “I don’t think you’re very familiar with how periods function.” 

Remus hesitated. “You may be right.” 

“Besides,” Logan added, and he couldn’t believe he sounded so fond right now, “I’ve found a glaring hole in your otherwise flawless plan.” 

“What?” Remus asked him. 

“You don’t menstruate,” Logan said, trying not to shake his head at his boyfriend’s antics. 

“Darn,” Remus responded, biting his lip. “I didn’t think of that part…”

Logan had to fight down the laugh that threatened to bubble up and out of his throat as he pushed oped his door. “You may be the only person on this earth to respond with ‘darn,’ when someone reminds them that it is physically impossible for them to have a period.” 

Remus giggled next to him, quieting down as they walked back into the kitchen, the two of them meeting the stares of Logan’s mother, father, and sister. 

Logan sat down, very conscious of the fact that Remus’ hair looked like it had been through a hurricane, and his lips were redder than cherries, and his sweater was a little stretched out, slipping down one of his shoulders. He winced. 

“So…” his older sister said, and Logan looked up to meet her smirk. “Did you two have a fun time in the bathroom?” 

His mother frowned disapprovingly, but didn't say anything. 

Yup. He was going to die of embarrassment. 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be like Logan, folks. Consent is very sexy. 
> 
> And yes, Remus knows Cthulhu's height is an issue but his argument is really quite persuasive guys, seriously.


End file.
